Saturday, April 9, 2011

Bumps, Bruises, Cuts, Scrapes & Staples

If you're a mom then you know the feeling you get when you see the name of your child's school show up on the caller ID.

Before anyone says a word on the other line of that phone, your stomach drops to your knees and your 2 mile long to-do list gets shoved into the trash.

Most of the time it's something really silly.  Mikey forgot his glasses.  Elijah has pink eye.  Mikey's got a tummy ache.  Elijah has pink eye again.  Mikey broke his glasses.  You get the point... nothing Earth shattering right?

Yesterday I received that dreaded phone call, only this time, as the school nurse tried to explain what had happened, the sound of my 5 year old crying in the background was all I could hear.

I scrambled around trying to find two matching shoes & cursing myself for not following the Fly Lady's instructions in case this very thing happens.

I made it to the school pretty quickly and by then Elijah had calmed down.  The nurse explained that he had been pushed by another student into the metal door frame in the hallway and busted the back of his head open.  The cut was fairly small but it was still bleeding after applying pressure and she was worried that it might need stitches.

We left the nurses office and passed the little boy responsible... sitting on the "sad stump" with a smug look on his face.  I knew before I saw him who he was.  I knew before Elijah said his name exactly who had pushed him.  I knew it was the same boy that spits on my son.  The same boy that calls him names.  The same boy that I saw run over another little boy half his size on a tricycle.

In the emergency room the doctor takes a look and quietly tells me that Elijah needs two staples.  

It was over and done with as quick as it took to pierce a little girls ears and with a tool that looked remarkably similar.  No tears.  He was a champ.

via wikimedia.org


We drowned our sorrows with a couple of milkshakes and headed home to show Daddy the metal in his head as he calls it.



Now

I'm not mad at anyone.  I don't feel the need to place the blame.  Boys will be boys and push and shove and I'm sure Elijah has a dozen more head injuries to come.

BUT

As Elijah's Mommy, I need to know what we can do to make sure this doesn't happen again.

I need to know that I did what I could to prevent any future injuries.

AND

I need to know that this kid wont be pushing my son (or anyone else for that matter) around anymore.

SO

I took Elijah back up to the school.

To show off his shiny staples.

And make sure they know that this little boy put staples in my sons head.

But
  
Instead of being reassured that they take bullying seriously and they would be watching this little boy closely, they tell me that Elijah was pushing too (THEY WERE FIGHTING OVER WHO WAS LAST IN LINE AND WERE TOLD TO STOP AND THE OTHER BOY TURNED AROUND AND PUSHED ELIJAH WITH TWO HANDS) and the boy has been "punished".  

Case closed.

I used the word bully and they grimaced and acted like because the boy is aggressive with all the kids in the class and doesn't seem to single Elijah out that this isn't a true case of bullying.

Huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow.  I guess I didn't realize how angry I was about this whole thing until I started writing up this post and trying to get my head around it.  All day today and yesterday I've been having flashbacks of another incident that happened to Elijah 3 years ago at daycare.


Click here for the story on kltv.com


Since then I've tried to just sort of forget the whole thing.  It makes me so angry and there's not any good that can come from being that angry.  



But now it seems that these staples have stirred all that up again.








12 comments:

  1. Wow! Scary! And the story about Elijah at daycare! Arden's had some bumps and bruises and I've always felt they contacted me right away - somewhat overcautious, so I can't imagine finding out about a significant injury at pickup! I hope you can resolve the issue with the aggressive little boy - I don't agree at all that it has to be a singled out child to be called bullying. I can think of plenty of bullies when I was a kid for whom I was only one of many targets.

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  2. Wow. You're a better woman than I - I'm shaking with rage just reading this, and he's not even my child! I was severely bullied when I was younger, so I'm not coming from an objective place, I know. But I dread the day I get this kind of call from my 9-month old daughter's school, because I won't be able to be as classy as you. I've already decided I'll escalate it as far as I feel I need to - media, lawsuits, whatever. Not suggesting this is what you should do. BUT given the reaction, your school needs some educating. I would take it to the superintendent of the school board, and explain it just as you have here. Hugs and good luck - who does your baby have to stand up for him other than you?

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  3. I forgot to say I'm visiting from FTLOB's comment love day :)

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  4. I'm glad your baby is okay - how terrifying! I can't help but wonder what the other boy's home life must be like; I mean, if he's ALWAYS the one causing trouble for all the children, chances are good that he doesn't have something at home that your child has. I wonder if the school has considered that when forming their "boys will be boys" attitude? I hope they start looking into the situation a bit more seriously now that medical intervention has been required as a result of this child's actions.

    Found you via FTLOB comment love :)

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  5. I am glad your son is alright! I can't believe the reaction from the school. That is so crazy.

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  6. Oh wow, this is scary. It's sad that the school seemed to disregard the injury. It's normal for children to push each other around if they are just being goofy, but there is pushing and then there is injuring.
    After an injury happens that is when serious measures have to be taken. You poor little fella! I hope both you and he are doing better!!!

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  7. Oh my gosh! I hate it when my babies get hurt but the fact that the little boy was obviously proud of being the "winner" just makes my heart ache.

    Thank you for stopping by my blog and commenting. So glad you enjoyed it! :)

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  8. You have EVERY right to be angry in this situation. A time out is NOT proper punishment for the other kids behavior.

    They needed to contact that kids parents and get a more significant punishment for him. Even if he wasn't a bully, anything to cause an injury like that needs a larger form of punishment.


    Poor Elijah seems to be put through the ringer a lot. So not fair.

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  9. christina martinezApril 10, 2011 at 8:10 PM

    .if thisI feel that if this child is the one that is doing this to other students that his parents need to be contacted.. were to happen with adults you could press charges and some one would have to pay for medical injuries why should this kid get away with spitting with is a felony offence because aids or anything else that can be transmitted, and now causing serious damage with staples. Bullying is a serious problem going on right now around the country and elementary students have committed suicide because of this i firmly believe that this child who has previous offences needs to be punished

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  10. I used to teach 1st grade, so I'm pretty appalled at how the school treated this situation. At least they called you this time, right? Bullying should be taken really seriously...the fact that he's doing it to all the kids and not just yours actually makes it WORSE! It is definitely a case of bullying. Maybe try talking to the school counselors/psychologist. They often have lessons they can actually go in and teach to classes where bullying is a problem. And since it is a problem with not just your son, it might really be helpful to all of the students. I'm so sorry about your little guy. I hope his head heals quickly.

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  11. Wow...thats a scary thing. Glad it wasn't worse than it was. Praying that it doesn't happen again!

    We have trouble with the little boys at my daughter's preschool liking her a bit too much. Last week they were trying to look up her skirt...a few weeks before they had cornered her under a table. Thankfully she has really good teachers that intercede quickly and keep a close eye on her. It is really scary sometimes to send your kids off to school.

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  12. Oh my! You are a better woman than I am because they would have gotten more than a piece of my mind! I know that you cannot protect your child from everything, but I would be absolutely livid! As a parent you should be able to send your child to school and know that they will be safe. This is why I want to homeschool. I just can't wrap my head around sending them out there alone...schools around here offer me no comfort that my child will be safe...not to mention because of a new law or something passed I don't have to worry about anyone questioning my ability to teach them! CAn you believe that now because the schools around here have scored so low on tests only the last grading period of the year will count! Yes you read right, kids can get straight F's all year and then buckle down in the last grading period and pass! Is that crazy or what! Plus awhile back the teachers protested that they should not be held responsible if your child goes missing from school because they are teachers, not babysitters...what's wrong with that picture??? I am glad to here E is okay. I will keep you guys in my prayers...

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